Two months to go and the source of my latest obsession is… my hopeless search for bridal underwear. This one’s turning out to be a little tougher than anticipated. Mainly because retail assistants of varying degrees of stupidity and ineptitude think it’s perfectly fine to suggest a racy black & red corset as an undergarment for a snow white wedding gown. That or they’re pointing out numerous other items that have me picturing myself at the altar trying desperately to unwedge the ship in my harbour.


So if anybody does find what I am looking for – namely white, comfy, seam-free, magically slimming, pure and virginal yet subtly sexy; lacy but not too racy; and most definitely honeymoon-pregnancy-inducing – then please give us a buzz.
In the meantime, here is one idea of what I’m NOT looking for. After all, I’m a Catholic bride, not a Point Road prostitute.