[10 Reasons I’m Recruiting BFFs with Babies]

There is nothing quite like new parenthood to thrust you into a world of social seclusion. Some of it is self imposed, the rest pretty much happens naturally, because let’s face it. There are very few self-respecting, unshackled adults who really want to hang out with the freaks of nature now suddenly living their lives according to the naptime/ bathtime/ poop time of an often moody little person.

You can be my Garcelle Beauvais. I can be your Halle Berry. #BFFswithBabies
[Image credit: celebritybabyscoop.com]

The Hubster and I, as post-30, procrastinator type parents, totally missed the boat of friends who ventured into the dark world of diapers in their 20s. Husband is also the eldest of his family and I’m the laat lammetjie of mine, so our siblings have either not started or are well past the baby making stage. Then we have some younger (and younger at heart) mates for whom all this fun responsibility stuff is aeons away. 

I wouldn’t change it for the world, of course. This kiddo has altered my world in ways I didn’t even know were possible. I know it is incredibly important to maintain our friendships, especially with non-parent friends, because they keep us connected to a world that doesn’t revolve around our sproglet and his demands.

However, I’ve come to the conclusion that maybe we do also need to recruit a few more Besties with Babies. 

Here’s why. 

1. I could totally get to live out my outrageous pre-kid fantasies of mutual parenthood, which include being out on perfectly packed picnics every weekend, husbands popping grapes into our mouths, while our precious cherubs, who never bicker, play lovingly alongside us. (I don’t even eat grapes, so this is a slightly dodgy fantasy).

2. My X-box obsessed couch potato of a husband might be more inclined to get out of the house if he had a fellow Dad he could connect with regularly (Maybe. Or maybe not).

3. Our BFF’s with Babies would totally “get” that a night in, can still be as fun as a night out.

4. They’d understand the simple parent math of:

(Fancy dinner + Drinks) 
x 2 = 
Oh snap, there goes the diaper budget… For the next 2 months!

5. It would be common knowledge that restaurants and hot spots are now evaluated according to price and child-friendliness, way before food and ambience (“Whaat? They don’t even have a changing station and/or a jungle gym? What kind of a shite hole is this?!”)

6. It is an unspoken rule that 8pm is the new 10pm, and any fun exploits usually need to take place on the right side of this.

7. They’d know that sometimes we really do not want to see anybody or go anywhere. And we may or may not shamelessly blame the kid as part of the excuse.

8. They’d also know that sometimes we actually really, really need to get out, or at the very least feel as if we’re part of normal society. (Please keep inviting us. At some point, we will actually say yes.) 

9. They’d understand that Mommy could happily talk about Munchkin ad nauseam for hours, but Daddy? Not so much. Come armed with Xbox know-how and we might actually ask you to move in with us.

10. I wouldn’t need to feel guilty for feeling that having a baby / toddler is simultaneously the most beautiful and also one of the most brutal things that could happen to a relationship. My BFF with a Baby would totally understand that bizarre dichotomy, without getting all Judgy McJudgins on me.

I still love all my non-parent friends, and I wish I could spend more time with them. I also seriously love all the wonderful fellow mummies I regularly “socialise” with online, and the ones I barely get to see in real life because our kids are working on different body clocks. 

But this year I‘m totally accepting applications for the role of BFFs with Babies. If you’re keen, holler at me!


PS: Some interesting and funny reading on this whole conundrum:

9 thoughts on “[10 Reasons I’m Recruiting BFFs with Babies]

  1. I guess it boils down to needing some friends around who can identify with where you are at. My first 2 children were born when I was 20 & 22, other friends were living a carefree existance and I was left out and alone. This time around my friends with children can empathise with me on most levels


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