Being the smug and naive plonker that I am, I figured that my husband being away for 2 weeks over Easter wouldn’t be such a biggie. He’s gone off to India on a work incentive trip aboard the 5-star Royal Rajasthan on Wheels luxury train. Sadly, no spouses allowed. This will be the longest consecutive period we have ever spent apart from each other in nearly 12 years together as a couple.
Anyway, as an ambivert, I enjoy interacting with small groups of people, but I also love – like seriously love – my own space. I get peopled out pretty quickly. I can easily sit in my own company or head out and busy myself alone. I knew I’d miss the hubster from around day 5 or so, but I was initially just looking forward to blissful silence (i.e. no constant X-box live gaming talk,), reading, having the telly to myself, time alone with my thoughts, one-on-one time with our son. etc.
What I didn’t bank on, is that I would mourn his absence from like the very first night he was away, nor that our son would miss him so much. When Dad is home, the 3 year old actually has no chill with him. This is entirely the Ryder and Mommy Show – and it’s only gotten worse in the last few months. Dad has to work extra hard and practically beg to do stuff for – or with – the kid if I am around. Boys and their mums, hey?
And yet, there we were, my son and I, on Night One, feeling rather forlorn for ourselves. Ryder was clearly suffering some kind of abandonment issues after we’d dropped his dad off that morning, because it was the first time he’d ever cried bitterly for me as I was leaving for work. Later that night he kept repeating “I miss Daddy. I want Daddy to come home,” which of course only made me more heartsore.
Night Two has passed but we kept ourselves busy visiting the Logos Hope floating library ship in Durban Harbour, then stopped off for ice-cream afterwards, so there wasn’t much time for the kid to focus on his longing for Daddy. Dad WAS however missed when we arrived home late to find a big-ass, flying, Durban roach wreaking havoc in the lounge. Roach assassination is usually my responsibility anyway, but there’s still some comfort in knowing another adult can hear your screams or provide back-up if the extermination attempt goes a bit awry. Anyway, later, as with Night One, I woke up in the early hours of the morning and wasn’t able to fall back asleep. It’s a mixture of anxiety about being alone in the house and a feeling as if something is missing but you can’t quite figure out what.
Marriage is not all plain sailing. The mundanity of life can weigh down on a relationship, especially when you have young kids. There are times I want to punch my darling husband in the nuts, others when he makes me so mad I could scream. But even through the dark times that come every now and then, he is My Person, My Very Best Friend, My Chef, My Lover, My Partner in Crime.
Come back soon, Joe. We miss you heaps. Only 10 more sleeps to go….